June 2, 1995
My thoughts before the call...
-It was a hectic day. We were getting every thing ready for the big day tomorrow and for you chumps to show up tonight. We've got plenty of chairs, shade house is done, and I'm sure we have plenty of food. I haven't heard from any of you guys lately...I'm sure that I sent the invitations out on time. I heard that you were coming-
Jimmy and I were sitting in the living room and watching some stupid flick when the phone rang. It was Ryan. When he told me to sit down, a rush of chills ran down my neck and back because I knew what kind of phone call it would be. He told me you couldn't come because you had left this world to enter the next.
Those words still echo in my brain like a reoccurring nightmare. They've come back so many times that I will sometimes not believe it to be true. On occasion, I feel that I'll get a call from you out of the blue to bring some beer and my poles. We would go out to Red Lake like that one time we had the boat and fished with your uncles and sisters. There were so many of us in that damned boat that the trolling motor barely got us moving...Yeah, I would be there in a second. But the nightmare is true.
For a long time I was angry at you for dying. I know it sounds selfish and it is but that is how I felt. I was angry that I couldn't make up for the silence we had before. I had to live with that feeling for a long time and I think that's why I started to go fishing by myself. Even now I abhor fishing with anybody because it was a time that I could pray to God and talk to you. It was my church.
Well, it's been ten years. Dude, that's a long time. It's also been a long time since I went fishing. I'll make sure I go soon so we can catch up.
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