Hickie Prevention 101

This is to all of you partaking in the Gathering of Nations Pow Wow festivities. You know who you are. Beware the chile seed!
Mad Sci

-The scientific term for "hickeys" is ecchymosis from the Greek "ek" for out and "khumos" for juice, in other words to suck the juice out of your neck or more medically speaking to extravasate blood. Indeed a hickey is nothing else than a bruise! Bruises are caused by ruptures of capillary blood vessels in the subcutaneous tissue. The extravasated blood pools into the surrounding tissues and cause the typical purple/red discoloration of the skin. The breaking of the blood vessels may be caused by a variety of physical abuses to the skin (bumping into an object, falling, strangling, etc...) but in the case of hickeys, the damage is created by the vacuum applied to the neck or other parts of the body by the lips and mouth of the hickey donor.
Note that hickeys are more likely to occur in areas where the skin is thin (and hence capillaries are closer to the surface) such as the neck or medial aspect of the arm or the abdomen. Areas such as the back or thighs benefit from a thicker epidermis and hence are much less susceptible to vacuum-caused ecchymoses.-

So, you woke up with silver dollar sized purple hickies that hurt like a bitch. You dumbass. He or she had better been worth it. Getting rid of them is a problem and you are trying to figure out how to remedy this badge of stupidity, especially if your significant other was not the one who gave it to you or if you are trying to hide them from your mom. If you like hickies, then this blog is not for you. You freak.

Dispite what you hear, there is no remedy to get rid of a hickie except for time. If there is one, the science community has not seen it.

Now, if you want to prevent a hickie, this blog can help you. Here is the *top 10 ways of preventing a hickie. Please, heed to every word...

1. Stay home.
2. Go to church.
3. Don't wash your neck for a week before your night out.
4. Don't look up, that's just inviting a hickie opportunist.
5. Pick your nose when making out.
6. Eat garlic before getting hot and heavy.
7. Fart during getting hot and heavy, that turns off everything.
8. Dowse your neck with Habanero pepper sauce.
9. Wear a spiked dog collar.
10. Wrap your neck with duct tape.

*For neck area only.
** May experience side effects such as being called "Stinky Neck", public embarrassment, no second date, pepper burns, chafing, and a hairless neck.

It's up to you to say Hickie No Mas.

Flash back

A few days ago I was asked to deliver a proposal for my firm to a school close to Ganado, AZ. At first, I thought I wasn't the best person to do this very lengthy but simple task because I'm sure there were some cheeper drones to skitter across the northeastern Arizona desert and do such a simple deed, but I'm glad I went.

To get to Ganado from Albuquerque, you would have to go on U.S. 264 through Window Rock, AZ, the place I called home from 1st grade to highschool graduation. It was like I never left the place, it felt like 12 years ago when I was last there. Oh yeah I've been back there since but not with such freedom to really check out the old stomping grounds. It was almost like time stood still for me to return. Weird, huh.

Except, where did the fuckin' Denny's come from? Where did Tullers go?

Deene's meme

What's your favorite kind of cookie? Pecan Sandies
Who is Americas most overrated actor? Tom Cruise
Name a guilty pleasure. Lap dances...
Name two things you can't live without: fishing and a good book
Your first pet's name + your mother's maiden name = your porn star name: Butter Mike
What song are you listening to right now? Texas Flood
Name your celebrity crush: Elizabeth Shue
Favorite punchline from a joke: Rectum.....damned near killed 'em!
Who do you want to pass this meme off to? dude, you know who you are.....or dudette

I remember that day...

I got up later than usual but the coffee was still hot. Karen always made it just right for me before she left to work.
She taught 5th grade at Naschitti Elementary School, not far from where we lived. Yeah, I've all ready taken the long trek to Alfred Station, New York, and I learned how she had grown up with 4 sisters in the rolling hills of western New York. It was a three days tour to the state of New York by way of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, where her eldest sister lived.
I turned on the television at about 8:30am and what I saw on was confusing at first because all I saw was something that look like a movie set. There was a lot of smoke and there was rubble and the people. The people were crying, shouting, and wondering. The anchor came on at that time and announced that there was an explosion of a bomb at the Alfred P. Murrah Building in Downtown Oklahoma City. All I could think about was that my sister-in-law lived there and pretty close to down town. The first thing that I thought about was to call my mother-in-law to see if she had received a call from Theresa. She hadn't. I ran to the school and told Karen. There was nothing we could do, but wait for her. The rest of the day just sucked. I was glued to the tv. I couldn't do anything. By this time, they start looking for bodies and survivors. Later on, we got a call from Mom that Theresa was OK. She was OK. She was a couple of miles away. Still it was too close.
I cried that night. How could anybody do such an act? How? Pure evil. Human nature. It's known that we'll end our existence. This was only a start.
I'm not sure this will end. There will always be war in one form or another as long as there are humans. What do you think?

Quiz about me.....you're next

(X)Smoked a cigarette
(X) Drank so much you threw up
( ) Crashed a friend's car
( ) Stolen a car
(X) Been in love (you know who you are)
(X) Been dumped (you know who you are still)
(X) Been laid off/fired (Royal Burger)
(X) Quit your job (Sears)
(X) Been in a fist fight (My last was with Arnell)
(X) Snuck out your parent's house (Sorry Ma)
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back (Selma H....I'll get over it...hey, I want my T-shirt back.)
(X) Been arrested (by Window Rock's Finest)
(X) Gone on a blind date (she got weird...let's not go there)
(X) Lied to a friend (Sorry Man, I have to go take a dirt nap with this one)
(X) Skipped school (Plenty of times, now I'm an engineer, go figure)
(X) Seen someone die (I've seen people die slowly all around me)
(X) Been to Canada (Canadiacs are dumb, they don't know that they are American)
( ) Been to Mexico (too afraid to, I look too Mexican)
(X) Been on a plane (Haven't seen the Atlantic yet)
(X) Swam in the ocean (the Pacific)
(X) Felt like dying (yeah)
(X) Cried yourself to sleep (yeah)
(X) Sang karaoke (not yet, if I do, I know I'll kick some ass)
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins (Target....it's just too easy)
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't (dirt nap tales)
(X) Made prank phone calls (is there a Mike Hunt there?)
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (beer stings)
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue. (when I walked home with you after a movie)
(X) Danced in the rain (after I scored a touchdown)
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus (I got the BB gun, thanks)
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe (I've never been that lucky, although I've tried)
(X) Watched the sun rise (the best are in Two Grey Hills, New Mexico!)
(X) Blown bubbles (every summer)

Any nicknames: Curley, Jay, JC, Colors, and Wumpy
What is your favorite drink: warm RC
Tattoos: none
Body piercing: just my left ear
How much do you love your job on a scale of 1-10: 8
Favorite vacation spot: on the friggin lake, any lake
Ever steal any traffic signs: nope
Ever been in a car accident: yes, not a bad one
Salad dressing: Thousand Island
Favorite pie: my Grandma's pumpkin pie
Favorite number: 3
Favorite movie: Dumb and Dumber
Favorite holiday: Halloween
Favorite food: fried potatoes and onions on my Nali's tortillas
Favorite day of the week: Thursday....because I know tomorrow is always the day before the weekend
Favorite smell: Fresh cut Alfalfa
How do you see yourself in 10 years: on the lake
What do you do when you are bored: pickin' and grinnin'
Who will respond the fastest: you there, with the new ride....
Least likely to respond: dumbass people, mouth breathers, and folks that speak Ebonics.